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August 5, 2011 / Mettā Reiki Center



This post is a little delayed because, in all honesty, it’s been a tense three weeks for us.  After hearing the ominous “the baby may not make it to 15 weeks”, I was terrified that we had made the wrong decision, made the wrong call and maybe should have done something differently.  As I write this, we have just passed over the 15 week milestone.  Our level 2 ultrasound is 10 days away, and as far as we know, Little Spartan is doing just fine.


Let me preface with this:  there are many very good reasons to do an amniocentesis.  There are situations where it may have a positive impact on the baby’s survival and well-being.  That is the reason why we placed the call to the neonatology/genetic counseling office to find out – we wanted to know that it would help our Little Spartan before we even considered the risk of an amniocentesis.  The failed chorionic villus sampling was enough of a scare for us to very carefully consider anything further.


I did finally get a call back and spoke directly with the physician that performed the attempted chorionic villus sampling.  When I asked him if having an amniocentesis, in our specific situation, would give our baby any better chance of surviving and thriving, he explained that the test was diagnostic.  In other words, it was purely to find out if the baby truly did have a genetic abnormality.  He said, “…at that point, you will be able to make a decision about whether or not to terminate the pregnancy.”


Now, I’m not one of those folks who stand in front of abortion clinics for pro-life, pro-choice or whatever.  I truly believe that we all have to make our own decisions, and in the end, each of us has to stand in front of our creator and account for those decisions.  No one is responsible for influencing those decisions for us.  That being said, having an abortion was not an option for us.  I am very fortunate that Ken stands with me in this decision.  I assumed that the physician was just offering the option to us to make sure we knew what all of our options were, I politely explained that I didn’t feel like termination of the pregnancy was an option for us, that we wanted to give this baby every chance we possibly could.


After hearing this, the doctor went on to say, “Well, we don’t have to do it RIGHT at 15 weeks; we can do it anytime after 15 weeks.  Besides, at that point, an amniocentesis is less risk than a chorionic villus sampling.” 


Call it hormones.  Call it stress.  Call it pregnancy, exhaustion, being female, whatever.  But my restraint and politeness went buh-bye.


“Sir, I’m not sure what part of “no” you’re not understanding here.  We’re not having the amniocentesis, not if it is solely to make a decision on whether or not to terminate the pregnancy.  If something changes and the baby has to have this done in order to make it through the pregnancy, we will reconsider this, but until then, the answer is “no” and it stays that way.”   I went on to fly all over him about the “risk” of the chorionic villus sampling, that we were told it was a “very low risk” procedure – now apparently we had risked something even more dangerous than an amniocentesis, not even knowing how dangerous it could be?  I felt like we were being pressured to have an abortion if our baby wasn’t what they felt was “perfect”.  Hell, it was our kid – that was pretty much a guarantee that it wouldn’t be “perfect” in the eyes of the high society windbags like this doctor. 


Screw him.  This baby will be beyond perfect in our eyes – it is our miracle.




Leave a Comment
  1. julie / Aug 6 2011 12:11 am

    That, my friend…is what motherhood is all about…

  2. lisamframe / Aug 7 2011 5:23 am

    Indeed it is…you’ll be doing this the rest of your life for little Spartan.

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